Thinking about moving to Italy, and wondering if locals will accept you as their new neighbor… or if you will feel unwelcome?
Italians, and Sardinians especially, are some of the warmest, most generous people I’ve ever met. But whether you feel welcomed depends a lot more on you than on them.
“Speak the language!”
I’m originally from America, and it was/is common to hear someone angrily telling a foreigner or new resident from a non-English speaking country to speak English. They’re in America, and some Americans expect them to mix in and be more “American.” The same can be true in other countries, but now you’re the foreigner.
I know a South African with Portuguese citizenship who has received negative comments from people because she is a citizen but doesn’t speak Portuguese. She moved to an English-speaking neighborhood.
It’s about assimilation.
If you move somewhere and only connect with the people from your land or who speak your language, then you’re not really becoming part of life and culture here. It might make you feel like you can get away with not learning the local language, but you might find that the locals reflect that back to you.
When you don’t assimilate, you send a message to people that although you’re on their turf, you’re (at least somewhat) trying to recreate where you came from. People might not feel as connected to you or interested in you, especially if you don’t seem interested in them, or you can’t communicate with them.
If you move to Italy expecting things to work the way they work back home, you’re going to be frustrated constantly. If you expect people to speak your language instead of learning theirs, you’re making yourself the outsider. If you treat Italian culture as an inconvenience, people will sense that.
I’ve mostly been welcomed on Sardinia.
My then-boyfriend’s family and friends were warm and welcoming. But I started studying Italian with a private teacher (
BeatriceFerrara.it, #NotSponsored) before I moved. I had a little Italian when I got here, though had to rely a lot on my translator boyfriend. I didn’t expect anybody to speak English to me.
Some people are anti-immigrant. One random guy I was stuck sitting next to at a wedding complained for what seemed like an hour about the immigrants. “They’re coming on boats!” He had a lot to say about them. But he didn’t say another word to me after I told him I was an immigrant. I was fine with that!
If you work on learning the language, Italians appreciate the effort and will cheer you on.
If you show up curious and respectful, and if you try to become part of the community, Italians are likely to welcome you. If you act like a tourist who’s just there temporarily, you will probably be treated as a tourist, the stereotypical annoying person who shows up, loudly makes everything about themselves, and is constantly dissatisfied.
You’re not moving to some alternative version of America with better food and prettier scenery. You’re moving to Italy. The more Italian you’re willing to become, the more at home you’ll feel. You must change for Italy and Italians. They will not change for you, and they shouldn’t!
Contact me if there’s anything I can do to help. The first call is always free. Ci vediamo!
